Glitters
by Connan-l
Summary: Teenage Maria is going to spend the summer holidays at Pauline's home in Amsterdam. Some things goes as expected, some others do not. Maria/Pauline, post-main game/pre-Reincarnation.


**Notes:** Just a short and fluffy gay thing I wrote for Femslash February 2020! Well I say 'short,' but it actually got a lot longer than originally planned…

To be honest, I actually struggle to ship Pauline and Maria — Pauline seems way too much into Yukimasa, and Maria kinda struck me as aromantic and as the type who's just more invested in platonic friendships — but… they're also the most obvious f/f ship of the game? So, hey, why not. They can be cute!

This takes place during the modern days pre-_Reincarnation_, but I admit there are probably some details I forgot about it (can't recall if they mentioned anything about Maria and Pauline's childhood or about Pauline's family), so, sorry if there are any inconsistencies with the game.

Disclaimer that I don't speak Dutch and I've never been to Amsterdam or even in the Netherlands, thus there will likely be some… mistakes.

Technically this is for 'Day 9: Ocean,' though I actually started writing this before seeing the prompts.

Spoilers for the main game, _Requiem _and _Reincarnation_! Though you can understand even without having read _Requiem _or _Reincarnation_.

* * *

The first thing Maria did upon leaving the plane was to throw up.

Which was a pretty unusual thing; she was never sick, be it in cars or planes or boats. But here the journey had been particularly cantankerous.

_It's the last time I take the plane in my entire freaking life_, she thought to herself while she was wiping her mouth. Though she knew pretty well it was a lie, as her return ticket had already been booked. She now practically regretted bitterly to not have cancelled her vacations altogether — but it _was_ a rare occasion, as her family rarely went on vacation, especially not in another country.

"Ahh, Maria! There you are!"

Maria turned around, and saw a young black-haired girl with a ponytail waving and running towards her with a smile. However, when she saw Maria's pale face, she stopped and put both of her hands in front of her mouth.

"Oh my God, are you okay?"

"Do I look okay, you idiot?" Maria snapped back.

She actually hadn't intended to sound that mean — especially not to her best friend she hadn't seen since at least six months — but it had been a knee-jerk answer. Pauline just tended to instinctively get on her nerves and activate her hostility button.

"N-No, you don't," she blurted out, wincing. "Uh… I didn't mean to—"

"It's fine, forget it," Maria said, grabbing the handle of her suitcase. "The flight was pretty awful so I just got a bit sick, but I'm good now."

"O-Oh… well, I can ask my mom to give you some medicine once we get home—"

"I told you, it's _fine_. Don't bother. More importantly, you're alone?" Maria asked, as she could only distinguish her friend in the halls. She looked around to search her mother's blonde locks or her father's boorish figure, but saw neither of them.

"Orlando is the one who brought me," Pauline answered. "He's waiting for us in his car in the street below."

Right, Orlando. An old friend of Pauline's mom. Apparently, they had known each other since they were kids, and as far as Maria was aware he'd always hanged out around the Asama family. He didn't seem to be very fond of Pauline's father though. (Maria always thought the dude had a crush on Pauline's pretty mom, but she would never tell her theory to anyone of course.)

As they were slowly walking towards what Maria supposed was Orlando's car, she caught Pauline's gaze on her — she had a dumb, gentle smile on her face, her black ponytail bouncing softly behind her back at the rhythm of her steps.

"What?"

"H-Huh? What, _what_?"

"You're staring at me!"

"Ah, umm… sorry, I was just thinking you've changed since the last time we've seen each other."

Maria cocked an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? You on the other hand you haven't changed at all."

"Th-That's not true! I've changed too. I took three centimeters since last time! And I bought new clothes!"

Maria just laughed, and Pauline began to complain about how "mean she was" and how "she could compliment her a little."

Maybe Pauline _had_ changed a little in the months they hadn't seen each others, but on the other hand it felt like their relationship had stayed the same during these all years they've been friends.

* * *

Maria had only come to Pauline's home in the Netherlands two times.

They had first met when she was around six years old — Pauline's father had been on a business trip in Milan, and exceptionally he had decided to bring his wife and daughter along with him. She and her mother had came in a park one afternoon, where Maria had been playing with her grandfather, and like the little bully she had been back then, she stole the ice cream of that annoying foreign little girl. But then said little girl started crying so loudly that in the end she just handed it back to her. And then for some reason they started to play together. None of them knew how to speak the other's language at the time, but as the small kids they were that didn't bother them much.

After that, their parents met and so they stayed in contact. Pauline's family was actually surprisingly wealthy — her father was a tradesman traveling very often, so she was able to come to Milan at least once a year, and the rest of the time they'd call or sent each other letters and emails. Maria's family, on the other hand, had always been more on the poor side. Not _excessively_ so — Maria always had a roof over her head and food in her plate, and she never truly lacked of anything — but she certainly couldn't bring herself to pay some vacations in another country whenever she wanted. Which was why, three months ago, Pauline had proposed to invite her over for the summer vacations to celebrate her fifteenth birthday together — and she would pay for everything, trip price included.

"You still haven't decided what you're going to do after high school?" Pauline asked, tilting her head.

They were both chatting side to side on the car's backseat, catching up with each other's, while Orlando was silently driving. Both Maria and Pauline were speaking in English, and the poor man barely knew how to say 'Hello' and 'Good bye,' so he was probably feeling sidelined. Pauline always tended to treat him like he was her manservant. Maria kind of felt sorry for him.

"Not sure," she mumbled back, her eyes falling on the window behind which scrolled through Amsterdam's streets.

"That's not good," Pauline said, in that big sisterly tone she sometimes used and that tended to really annoy Maria. "You're going to enter your last grade next year, right? So you should hurry up and decide."

"Gee, thanks Mom," Maria replied, glaring at her.

Pauline puffed out her cheeks. "I'm saying this for your sake!"

"I don't want to hear this from the girl who can't even choose her own clothes the morning," Maria said dryly, and before Pauline could reply, she just added, "And you know what? I've decided already. I'll probably enter the mafia or something."

Maria grinned at her friend, and as she expected, Pauline stared at her with her brown eyes and her mouth wide open. It was so easy to predict her reactions that it was almost ridiculous.

To be honest, Pauline had actually good reasons to believe Maria wasn't joking: ever since she was a child, she'd always bragged about how her grandpa was originally born in Sicily and that her family, the Campanellas, used to have ties to the mafia. Now in all honesty, Maria didn't know how much of this was true — it was some kind of unspoken rule within her family to not talk about this, and her grandfather had always dismissed her whenever she'd questioned him about it — but she certainly had a lot of fun of teasing Pauline when they were kids by telling her that if she pissed her off, some mafioso would come to skin her alive. She had stopped doing this now, of course — that had been pretty childish of her, and Maria was going to be _eighteen_ next year, so these days she tried her best to act more like the grown up she was soon going to be. Though teasing Pauline was just so much fun and so easy it was still hard to kill that habit.

"I'm just joking," she finally admitted, releasing Pauline from her shock. "I'm not _that_ much of a delinquent."

"Yes, well," Pauline said, sighing. "With you, I never know."

Maria chuckled, when suddenly the car came to a stop.

"_Wij zijn hier_," Orlando suddenly said in a stern voice.

Pauline and her family lived in a huge, modern house in Amsterdam-Oost with an extensive view on the sea. They had two floors with multiple rooms, a big garden, a pretty balcony and a garage. The first time she went there, Maria was ten, and she could still remember the intense jealousy she felt while seeing this. Compared to this, her small humble family apartment in Milan felt miserable. It'd be a lie to say she wasn't still a little bit jealous now, but she was used to it at least.

The two girls went out of the car, and Pauline chatted in Dutch with Orlando through the window for a moment, before finally turning around towards Maria and signaling her they could enter the house.

"He doesn't come?" Maria asked as she saw the car pulling away.

"No, he said he had a lot of work to do. Anyway, let's go!"

"W-Wait, don't run! I have my suitcase with me, remember?"

Both of them entered upon the spacious patio, and Pauline excitedly opened the front door.

"_Mama! Wij zijn gearriveerd!_" She exclaimed, before adding to Maria in a quieter voice: "Let your suitcase here, we'll put it in my room later."

Maria was going to reply, but before she could she heard a sound of door open, a few footsteps, and then a beautiful woman with long, wavy blonde hair in a harlequin sundress showed up.

"Maria! _Buongiorno_!"

Pauline's mother beamed at her, and Maria instantly imitated her. "_Goedemorgen_, Filippa!"

Maria had always liked Filippa quite a bit. She was a nice, smiling woman, radiant like the sun and always dressed in colorful clothes, and unlike her daughter, she actually had some spice to her personality. She was a stay-at-home mother, as apparently her husband's pay was more than enough to sustain the family (and, from what Maria had gathered, it was also because Filippa's family was pretty rich). However, she was still a busy person, as not only she was taking care of her daughter and of the house almost all by herself, she also often participated in all sort of town activities and events, and was pretty invested in charities.

Looking at Maria, Filippa brought her hands to her chest, her blue eyes shining as if she was about to cry. "Oh my God, you look so grown up now!"

"Well, it has been about two years since the last time we've seen each others, right? So that makes sense," Maria said, then sighed. "Though to be honest, I don't think I've grown up _that_ much. I used to be even taller than the boys in middle school, but now I'm one of the smallest girls. Hell, I can't believe that even fucking _Pauline_ is taller than me now. It's depressing."

"Oh, but small girls are so cute!" Filippa said, giggling.

"Bleh. Not interested in being cute. I'd rather be huge and frightening, like a bear!"

"Bears stink, though," Pauline said, wincing.

"Why is _that_ the first thing you think of saying?"

Filippa laughed heartily. "Still, I can't believe how much you've changed… The both of you are going to become young women before I even realize it. It makes me a little sad."

"No need to be sad. Pretty sure Pauline's gonna be eighty and still be an unreliable kid inside."

"H-Hey!" Pauline protested, elbowing her friend, while Filippa laughed again.

"Now, now, don't fight! Though I suppose Maria isn't wrong."

"Not you too, Mom!"

Then Pauline began complaining in Dutch to her laughing mother, and Maria wasn't able to catch everything they were saying. They may have been friends since they were kids, but they've always mostly babbled in English. Maria could understand _some_ basic Dutch, but she was far from being fluent. Though the same could be said for Pauline — despite the fact she'd come to Milan quite a few times, she only knew how to say a bunch of Italian sentences, and her accent was absolutely _awful_. Maria, like the brat she was, used to make fun of her because of this back then, and little Pauline would start crying and call her a "meanie." Fun ol' times.

"Anyway!" Filippa said again in English. "You girls are here just in time. I just finished the meal's preparations, you just need to go set the table."

"Oh, okay," Maria replied, as Filippa was exiting the room. "So we need four plates?"

"No, it's just the three of us," Pauline replied.

"What? What about your dad?"

"He's back in Japan right now, for work," she answered.

"Eh? But it's August. Shouldn't he be in vacation?"

"No vacations for sailors," Filippa answered from the kitchen. There was a very clear sharpness in her voice, and with the grimace Pauline displayed, this told Maria her mother was irritated.

It wasn't something new. As far as she could remember, Pauline's parents always had this problem. They didn't have a _bad_ relationship exactly — from what Maria had seen, they actually were quite a loving and happy couple. But Pauline's father still privileged his work over his wife and daughter, and he was very rarely home as a result, which was something Filippa had a lot of issues with.

This never seemed to bother Pauline much, though. Her parents' problems seemed to completely pass over her head. Maria had asked her about it once — if sometimes her mom and dad's disputes were something distressing to her — but she had just shrugged and replied that "It's just how it is."

To be honest, Maria thought it was a little… weird. Admittedly she never cared much about her own parents' problems either, but she could still remember that some of the biggest arguments they had had still impacted her a big deal. So Pauline's indifference concerning her family's issues felt off sometimes. Her friend had always been an airhead, sure, but sometimes it really seemed like… she was a bit too much disconnected from reality and the world around her. But maybe Maria was just overthinking it.

For lunch, Filippa served them a bountiful plate of Italian spaghettis with tomato sauce, which she had cook specially for Maria, and which was of course delicious. They finished the meal with a vlaai for dessert, and then the girls ran into Pauline's room and Maria started to unpack her baggage. The Asamas' house had a guest room and was big enough in general for Maria to sleep alone in a bedchamber of her own, but Pauline had insisted for them to stay together. She had accepted without thinking much about it, until she realized it also meant sleeping in the same bed as Pauline's.

This shouldn't be something weird; it wasn't the first time they'd sleep together — though the last this had happened, they were in elementary school. So now that they were older — almost 'young women,' like Filippa had said — it felt… a bit odd to her, somehow. This shouldn't be odd. Friends slept with each other platonically all the time, right? So there was no reason for it to be odd. Maria hoped that if she told herself this enough times, this would convince her. Somehow.

But this issue quickly faded from her mind as Pauline dragged her in the living room in front of their really big, flat screen TV, where they spent the afternoon switching channels and making fun of the stupid melodramatic soap operas broadcasted while eating snacks. Although honestly they mostly spent their time chatting and laughing rather than truly watching the TV. Filippa interrupted them two or three times to try to make them leave the couch and go outside while the sun was still up and shining, but she finally left them alone when Pauline promised her they'd go out tomorrow. And before they even noticed it, the night had already fallen.

After the dinner, Maria was the first to change herself, then she let herself fall onto the bed while Pauline was busy in the bathroom, the muffled sound of a Dutch TV presenter resonating in the background from the living room — except this time it was Filippa who was in front of the screen. In the meantime she looked around the room, which honestly hadn't changed much since the last time she came here. Pauline's room was pretty girly and common; some posters of boys' bands on the walls there, some cute stuffed animals here, some romance novels scattered around. The most distinguishing features were the trinkets from all sorts of different countries and cultures that her father always brings her back from his travels as souvenirs, and that she collects on top of a few shelves.

Pauline entered back into her room, and she was dressed in a white pajamas with dolphin patterns, her long black hair unusually let down and falling on her shoulders gracefully — and, despite the fact Maria thought the dolphin pajamas looked pretty silly (she wasn't _ten_ anymore, dammit), she did admit she was _kinda_ cute like that. She thought it was honestly a shame Pauline never let her hair down like that. As far as she could remember, she'd always tied it in that messy ponytail, even when they were young children.

"So," Pauline started, smiling at Maria. "What do you want to do now? I have some board games if you want. Do you like _Monopoly_? Or _Cluedo_?"

Maria sighed, then scratched the back of her head. "Nah, I think I'd rather go to sleep."

Pauline gasped, then stared at her as if she had just confessed she had murdered someone.

"What? I'm tired!" Maria exclaimed, feeling almost offended.

"It's just it's not like you at all," Pauline gently replied. "Usually you're the one who want to stay up as late as possible, and I have to beg you for us to go to sleep… On top of that we spent the afternoon on the couch in front of the TV…"

"Yeah, well, I spent _hours_ travelling in a plane before coming here, remember? And the trip was pretty _awful_. So I'm exhausted."

"Oh… I see…"

Pauline looked genuinely disappointed, and it was so funny Maria couldn't herself but grin. "Ahh, I see you expected me to keep you up all night, huuuh? You naughty girl— _Hmph!_"

Her face as red as a tomato, Pauline threw a pillow at her, which crashed directly into her face before she could say any more words.

"No, you don't start!" She exclaimed, then sighed heavily. "You said you were exhausted right? So fine, let's sleep."

"Don't sulk, Pauline! I promise I'll make it up to you tomorrow. We'll stay up late as _muuuuch_ as you want!"

"Ahh, shut up!"

Pauline turned away from Maria who wasn't trying to hold back her laughers now, and picked up something from her desk, that looked like a small ball.

"What's that thing?" Maria asked.

"Oh, it's my nightlight," she simply answered.

It took some time for Maria to process what she meant by that. "What, are you fucking kidding me? You're still sleeping with the _lights on_? How _old_ are you?"

"J-Just with that tiny nightlight!" Pauline protested, blushing. "It's very faint, it shouldn't bother you!"

"God, that's not the issue," Maria replied, rolling her eyes. "I swear, you're such a _baby_."

All while talking she lied down and buried herself under the sheets, while Pauline plugged her nightlight. It was indeed of a very faint, soothing blue color, and light never bothered Maria to sleep anyway, but she still couldn't believe Pauline needed this as if she was a freaking _toddler_ scared of the monsters below her bed. She felt the other girl rejoin her beneath the blanket, the mattress shifting under her weight. This reminded Maria of the times where they slept together as kids — Pauline is a rather touchy-feely person around her loved ones, so she'd always ended up snuggled against Maria the morning, arms tightly wrapped around her waist. She really hoped Pauline wouldn't do this tonight. It just… wasn't the same thing anymore, now that they weren't kids. For a moment, neither of them spoke, only the sound of their breathing and of the muffled TV resounding in the room, and Maria almost thought she was going to fall asleep when Pauline raised her voice again.

"It's because I have nightmares."

Maria raised her head and looked at her friend. Pauline was staring at the ceiling, and she couldn't really make out her expression in the darkness, but her gaze seemed unfocused.

"Nightmares?" She repeated. That was new. She'd never heard about Pauline having nightmares before — or at least, she'd never told her about it…

"It's pretty rare," the younger girl admitted. "But a few months ago I've had a really bad nightmare. Ever since, the dark prevent me from sleeping well, so Mom bought me the nightlight, and it helps."

"Huh…" Maria didn't know what to answer to this, and now she actually felt a bit like an asshole for having made fun of her without knowing this. Maybe Pauline read her thoughts — a pretty rare occurrence, as she usually wasn't very good at this — because she smiled at her softly.

"Like I said, it's not a big deal, really, so don't worry."

"I wasn't worried," Maria replied by reflex, though it wasn't completely true. She hesitated for a moment, before asking in a softer voice: "What… What are they about, exactly? Those nightmares."

"Hmm…" Pauline's frown burrowed, as if she was searching through her memories. "To tell you the truth… I don't really recall well. It's very blurry. But…" She stopped.

"I think… there's a monster in it…" She finally added, and her voice sounded a bit odd. "A beast."

Maria blinked. "A… beast."

"And… I think he kills me."

_(The beast killed her.)_

For some reason, a chill ran down Maria's spine, and she felt as if her entire body grew cold.

"Strangely enough, though, I… I'm not scared," Pauline continued. "I think… maybe it's a bit sad, but it's not scary…"

Maria really struggled to stay focused on her words; she felt as if she was far, far away, in a place where she couldn't reach anyone. For a very brief moment, it was as if she wasn't in that room anymore, warm and safe under the soft the blanket, but somewhere else, in far away old city drenched in blood and corpses — among them, clothed all in black and white, lied Pauline, looking older and motionless—

"He won't kill you."

Pauline blinked, and stared at Maria blankly.

"The beast won't kill you," she repeated, firmly. "I won't let him."

The black-haired girl next to her looked so confused, and Maria honestly couldn't blame her. She wasn't even sure herself what she was saying exactly. She just knew her body was still cold and that the scent of blood still persisted in her nose and that she _had_ to tell her that. Instinctively, she reached towards Pauline and grabbed her hand in hers, as if she felt the need to feel her warmth there — to reassure herself she was safe and alive, by her side.

"If… If the beast ever comes to you, then all you have to do is call me, and I'll go kick his ass. I definitely won't let him kill you."

Pauline's shock slowly faded from her face, and instead a warm smile replaced it, which Maria suddenly felt kinda embarrassed about. Why was she spouting all this nonsense? What the hell was wrong with her tonight? But then Pauline giggled softly, a silly, but content and happy expression on her face… so maybe it didn't matter after all.

"Okay," was Pauline's only response.

And then she gently tightened her grip on Maria's hand, and closed her eyes.

"Maria?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm glad you're here."

Maria couldn't really see Pauline in the dark, but she could imagine her soft and genuine smile from her voice, and while she had always loved to tease Pauline and would've usually retorted a snarky reply at this… this time, just for this one time, she chooses to answer sincerely.

"Me too."

* * *

"I'm sorry, but I just don't get why you find those sandwiches so good. I mean, they're just… _sandwiches_."

"They're not 'just sandwiches'! They're _ham_ sandwiches! And it's not my fault if you don't know how to appreciate good things."

"I'm not saying it's _bad_, I'm saying it's… normal. Common."

"Well, that's why it's great! Ah, geez, whatever, forget about it."

Pauline puffed out her cheeks, then forcefully bite into her ham sandwich they had just bought, as if she was trying to prove to her friend how good they truly were. It had been almost two weeks now since Maria arrived in the Netherlands. They had spent a big part of their time hanging out at Pllek beach and in the Vondelpark, though Filippa had also managed to drag them to the Rijksmuseum, despite the girls' complaints. Right now, though, they were just a few streets away from the Asamas' home, in a cozy place with a pretty view on the sea. It had always been Pauline's favorite spot ever since she was a child; a bit like a secret base. Well, except it wasn't secret _or_ a base.

"So did you manage to make Filippa tell you where we were going for your birthday?" Maria asked, swinging her legs on the bench where they were sat.

"No," Pauline answered, shaking her head disappointedly. "She kept saying it was a secret."

"Fuck, I _hate_ secrets. I just hope it's not another museum…"

"Well… I did hear her vaguely mention the Anne Frank House…"

Maria chocked on her sandwich, then glared at Pauline. "You're kidding me! No way am I going to some dead girl's museum for a birthday!"

"Now, don't be disrespectful…"

"I'm not being disrespectful, I just don't want to think about freakin' _Nazis_ during my _summer vacations_!"

Pauline chuckled. "Don't worry, I'm sure we're just going to go celebrate to a restaurant. The Anne Frank House was about something else."

Maria narrowed her eyes. "Wait. Did you just _trick_ me?"

"Pauline!"

A voice called out from behind, and the two teens turned around to see a familiar middle-aged man heading towards them.

"Orlando? What are you doing here?" The interpellated girl questioned dubiously.

"Filippa asked for you two to go home," the man replied in Dutch, and Pauline could see Maria frown besides her while trying to decipher what he was saying as much as she could.

"Why?" She replied.

"She needs your help. Did you forget? She had her new wardrobe and shelves delivered today, and she wants you to help install them."

Pauline gasped and brusquely stood up upon hearing this. Her mother had in the prospect of redecorating the house, and she decided to start with the furniture. A few weeks ago, she had ordered a new wardrobe and shelves, and Pauline had promised her to help her out with them. Except she had completely forgotten about that! Her mom was going to be _so_ angry!

"Hey, what's going on…?" Maria asked tentatively, but she wasn't able to get an answer that Pauline had already grabbed her hand and started running.

"We need to hurry! Otherwise there will be no birthday party at all, be it at the Anne Frank House or elsewhere!"

They managed to reach the house in ten minutes total, which was a record, and while Filippa reprimanded her daughter for her usual absentmindedness, there was no much of a scolding, as the girls helped as much as they could — although Maria did spend quite a few of her time grumbling. And she was still complaining about it even after the night had fell and that they were about to go to bed.

"If I'd known I was going to do manual work and have history lessons, I wouldn't have accepted to come," she said grumpily, sat on the half-opened window.

"It was not so bad," Pauline tried to argue, but she only managed to get a glare from Maria.

"Vacations are made to have fun! Not to work! Your mom is a tyrant. Geez, seriously, what kind of idiot works during vacations?"

"Don't… Don't your parents often work during vacations…?"

"Yes! And _they're_ idiots!"

Pauline smiled awkwardly, then cleared her throat and quickly tried to change the subject to improve the mood. "Aren't you cold in front of the window? We should close it. Plus, it's starting to be late."

"I'm not tired," Maria replied. "And it's not cold either. In fact, it's still surprisingly warm outside."

As she said this, Pauline came to her side, and indeed, she was right — there was a cool breeze, but overall the weather was still pretty hot. This wasn't really surprising in August, though.

"Hey, Pauline?"

The girl turned her head towards Maria, and when she saw the wide grin her friend had placarded on her face, she instantly knew she was going to propose her something she wasn't going to like.

"Let's go hang out outside."

_I knew it!_ Pauline thought, and instantly frowned at Maria.

"No!"

"C'mon, let's go! It can be fun!"

"B-But I don't have Mom's permission to go out tonight!" Pauline protested.

Maria rolled her eyes. "You're fifteen! Stop acting like a baby already!"

"T-Technically, I'm not fifteen _yet_…"

"Are you fucking kidding me? You'll be fifteen in like, five days!"

"The point is, I don't want Mom to get mad at me…"

"She can't be mad at you if she doesn't know."

"You… You want us to sneak out of the house without permission?"

"What? You never did this before?"

"O-Of course not!"

Maria was looking at her with such a stunned expression Pauline honestly thought she was going to shook her for a minute.

"Never? I've been sneaking out of the house without permission since I was like, ten!"

"Yeah, well, not everyone can be like you!"

Maria rolled her eyes for what was probably the hundredth time today.

"Come on, let's go! It'll be fun."

"But…"

Maria sighed yet again, then she took Pauline's hand in hers, and stared at her straight in the eyes. Her face was so close to hers that she could feel her breathing and that their noses could touch.

"You trust me, right?"

Pauline stared at her for a few seconds, and then she slowly nodded.

"Then let's go."

And despite her reluctance, Pauline decided to listen to her friend, and so they started to prepare themselves. Maria grabbed a top with a cleavage that was a bit too revealing and a skirt that was a bit too short in Pauline's eyes, then took out red high heels from her suitcase. The other girl chooses a more simple and comfy blue dress, and then Maria winked at her and unpacked a box from her bag, before Pauline realizes it was makeup. Filippa refused for her daughter to wear makeup, because she always said she was still too young for that, but she felt that if she were to say this to Maria she would just laugh at her again, so she decided to stay quiet.

"Let me guess," Maria suddenly said. "You never used makeup before, right?"

Pauline winced. "I did," she argued.

Maria arched an eyebrow. "For Halloween?"

"Yeah, well, that _counts_!"

"No, it doesn't. It's not the same thing _at all_. But don't worry; I'll teach you. It's not that complicated."

And so she did; she first put lipstick, some blush and eyeshadow on herself, and then on Pauline. She made her sit straight on a chair, and the whole experience felt pretty stressful to her — she had to stay still during the process, as Maria was only a few centimeters away from her face, applying and bumping and brushing all sorts of products on her cheeks and eyes and lips while she couldn't see any of it. And she honestly couldn't tell if it was not knowing what her friend was doing with her face that bothered her so much, or if it was the proximity and intimacy of feeling her delicately touching her lips and eyelids. Maria, however, seemed unfazed by this, completely focused on her work, and Pauline was honestly surprised by how thorough and meticulous she was. It made her wonder how much experience she had with this — how many parties she went to before, how many friends she have back in Milan. She knew Maria was quite the sociable type, and she had told her a bit about some of her Italian friends, but Pauline never actually got the occasion to meet any of them.

To be honest… sometimes she felt like she actually didn't know much about Maria. They've known each other for most of their lives, but because of the fact they lived in two different, far away countries, they still missed quite some parts of their respective lives. And Maria wasn't exactly a secretive person, but she was still the kind who preferred to deal with her problems by herself, or to downplay the things that happened to her. She wondered if Maria felt the same about her too — that if, in the end, she also had the impression she ignored a lot of things about her supposed best friend…

"That should be good!" Maria exclaimed, putting aside the eyeliner. "What do you think?"

Pauline finally looked at herself in the mirror, and… she had to admit that, although she'd always thought of herself as a rather plain girl, right now, with her lips shining of a pretty pink color and her eyelids and cheeks softly colored, she was… quite pretty.

"It's… really good," she said. "You're really good at this, Maria!"

"Yeah, I know," the blonde agreed, a smug grin on her face. "I've had quite the occasion to practice before."

Once again, Pauline wished she'd know what she meant by that, but for some reason the question stayed stuck in her throat and she felt unable to say anything when Maria put her hands on her hips and smiled brightly at her.

"Well then, let's go!"

"Ah… yes."

Pauline rose from her chair, and then was going to head out of the room when Maria suddenly grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

"No, wait. Let them loose."

"What?"

"Your hair. Let them loose."

"Why…?"

"Why? Uh, no reason. It's just… You always tie them up. So I'm curious to see you with your hair down."

Pauline blinked at her, incredulous. Then she realized she had no reason to refuse, so she did as she asked, and slowly untied her long black hair, letting them fall on her shoulders.

"Like this…?"

Maria smiled. "Yep, perfect! Now let's go for real."

She enthusiastically grabbed her hand, and following her friend's firm step, Pauline exited the room. Maria softly closed the door behind her, then put a finger in front of her lips and mimed a 'Shh,' which made the other girl gulp. She had almost forgotten that now came the most difficult part: sneaking out of the house without her mother noticing them. Maria still in head, they slowly advanced in the corridor, and Pauline was impressed at how little noise the blonde was making despite the fact she was wearing high heels — while on the other hand, she had the feeling she was a giant elephant with just her normal shoes.

Then Maria suddenly came to a stop, and Pauline noticed that the door of her mother's room was open, and that light escaped from it. This almost made her panic and turn back; but Maria's hand was still tightly holding hers, and she started to walk with such confidence that Pauline didn't even get the time to say anything. So they managed to go down the stairs and reach the house's entrance without Filippa show up. Pauline realized they were actually extremely lucky her mother wasn't in the living room, because otherwise the whole operation would have been impossible. Maria then quickly asked for the keys, which Pauline knew were always hidden under a flower pot near the door, and without making a sound they got out of the house and disappeared in the darkness of the night.

* * *

Amsterdam at night was quite different from the day. Pauline may have been born and lived in this city her entire life, but she still had very few occasions to go wandering in the street when it was dark outside, and whenever she had it had always been with her parents. Under the starry sky, her hometown almost felt like a completely different world, and even with the bright street lamps at every sidewalk, she felt wary of the dark, and she couldn't help but threw nervous glances behind her shoulders whenever she heard a noise.

Maria, on the other hand, seemed to be completely oblivious to her struggles, and didn't seem frightened the least in the world — she walked with so much conviction, her high heels clicking confidently on the pavement, as if she owned the entire city. Watching her from behind, Pauline felt genuinely envious of her self-assurance. How did Maria always manage to appear so bold and assertive, in every situations? It was almost frustrating.

There was quite a few people around; some workers coming back to home late, some group of friends hanging out together — and despite the fact all of these strangers seemed to be absorbed in their own little world and couldn't care less about the two teenage girls trotting down the streets, Pauline felt suspicious of every one of them. At some point, a very tall, middle-aged man in a big black coat walked past them, and she shrieked and grabbed Maria's hand, as if she was afraid he was going to hit her. Maria, obviously, sensed her fright and rolled her eyes.

"I swear, what a wimp," she commented, though she still didn't let go of Pauline's hand.

"You're not even a little bit worried?"

"No? It's cool, I'm used to it."

"But— But what if that man had assaulted us. What would you have done then?"

"I don't know. Kicked him in the balls? Wouldn't be the first time it happens."

"Wha— You know what? No, I don't want to know what happened."

Pauline sighed, but she didn't have the time to regain her composure that Maria then instantly added: "So, where do we go?"

"Where…? Uh, I don't know… I thought we were just going to hang out outside…?"

Maria sighed. "That's _boring_. We need to do something. I dunno, maybe go to a bar."

"But we're both underage."

"So?"

"So it's illegal! They won't let us enter!"

"Do you think something being illegal ever stopped me?"

Of course it didn't. "No, but, I mean, that's still— A-Ah, Maria?"

Her friend had stopped caring about what she was saying. Her eyes suddenly lit up, and she had brusquely started to run, crossing the street in the opposite direction. Pauline felt obligated to follow her, so she hurried to chase her down. When Maria finally stopped, she felt out of breath, and it took a few long seconds before she could regain her respiration.

"What… What's going on?"

"Look!"

Pauline raised her head, and in front of her, behind a small wall, was a big, cleared esplanade, that directly gave view on the ocean. Pauline had already been to this place before, but it was the first time she actually saw it during the night; and she had to admit that the undisrupted sight of the sea, shining brightly under the moon and the stars, was quite enchanting.

"I wonder if the water is cold," Maria pondered in a soft voice.

"It probably is," Pauline argued. "I mean, it _is_ the middle of the night…"

"Hmm…" Maria scratched her head, her eyes still staring at the ocean, and then a grin took shape on her face and she turned around towards her friend. Pauline instantly knew what she was thinking about without she even needed to open her mouth.

"No! Maria, don't—"

But she had already thrown away her high heels, and without even taking the pain to remove her clothes, she climbed on the wall, and made a dive head first inside the sea, splashing everything around her, Pauline included. She resurfaced a few seconds later, the water only coming to her waist.

"Aaahh! It's so fucking _cold_!"

"Of _course_ it is!" Pauline yelled. "Hurry up and come back here! You're going to catch a cold!"

Maria only laughed at her, then waved her hand. "Hey, you've always loved the ocean, right? C'mon! Join me!"

"What? I will absolute _not_ join you!"

"Come on! For once in your life, stop being a coward!"

"I'm not being a—"

Pauline suddenly felt something grab a pan of her dress and pulling on it with all of its strength. And, as she never had the best sense of balance, this inevitably made her fell into the sea. Before she could understand what had happened, icy water was overwhelming her, and as soon as she got her head out of the sea she instantly started rubbing her arms and chattering her teeth. Then she glared at Maria, who, of course, was just giggling.

"You're insane! I could've got seriously hurt!"

"But you didn't, so everything's cool."

"Ah, God… I hope you're happy now."

"Hehe! Yes, very!"

Maria had that pesky wide grin on her face, and she looked genuinely so happy that Pauline couldn't even bring herself to stay angry at her, which was annoying.

"Geez… The makeup you spent so much time doing is all ruined now…"

Maria shrugged. "No big deal. It's just makeup. And it's not like anyone can see us anyway."

Pauline looked at Maria, and all of a sudden the situation seemed so weird and ridiculous — the both of them, two girls fully clothed into Amsterdam's sea in the middle of the night — that she couldn't help but chuckle. A chuckle that quickly morphed into a full on laugh, and that was contagious as Maria quickly rejoined her shortly after. Pauline knew that she should be upset at the other — the water was so cold and her hair and clothes were clinging to her skin in a really disagreeable way… but even after she calmed down and stopped laughing, despite everything, she still couldn't help but feel strangely warm and happy.

Suddenly, she felt a hand brush her cheek. When she raised her head, her eyes met Maria's. She was smiling gently — a soft, tender expression on her face that was a far cry from her usual smug smirks or mean grins. That was an expression Pauline wasn't familiar with at all on her friend's face, and it took her aback. Her hand was cold, but there was still something incredibly warm in the way she touched her cheek and put some of her black locks behind her ear.

"See? I told you."

"T-Told me?"

"To let your hair loose. Your look a lot prettier like that."

It was very dark, even with the light of the street lamps, so Pauline really hoped Maria wouldn't notice the blush creeping on her cheeks.

She knew that she'd always been of the romantic, dreaming type. She had been the kind of little girl who dreamed to have a handsome prince to sweep her off her feet. Ever since she was a child, falling in love with a man, marrying him, and having children had always been her dream — and, despite the fact the people would tease her because of it, it was still her dream even now, and she never thought there was anything wrong with that.

As such, she'd always thought her first kiss would also meet all of the standard romantic criteria — after a lovely date with her boyfriend, he would bring her to a place where you could see the sea to watch the sunset, and then he would gallantly embrace her in his strong arms and gently put his lips on hers. It had always been how she pictured it. And yet…

And yet, when she looked at Maria, her blonde hair a mess and her clear green eyes shining like jewels, in the middle of that ocean of glitters, she felt a strange impulse taking root in her heart. She looked honestly so pretty, all sparkling and smiling and dazzling under the moon, and so without thinking she leaned in…

And kissed her on the mouth.

It was a brief, soft kiss; lasting only a handful of seconds. Maria's lips were thin and soaked and salty. When Pauline pulled away, she saw her friend's expression, which made her froze. She was staring at her, stunned, her eyes as wide as saucers, her mouth open, and her face the color of a brazen fire. Never in her life had she thought she would see Maria Campanella makes such a face, and she was absolutely sure that if she were to tell anyone, no one would believe her. And that's only then that what Pauline had just done struck her.

"Ah!" She exclaimed. "Th-Th-That's— I-I mean, that's— This is—"

Pauline tried to search an excuse, an explanation. None came. She felt herself panicking. Why on earth had she done _that_? Sure, she'd always loved Maria a lot, but not… not _like that_. She… She didn't think, at least? And Maria who just kept staring at her blankly in silence, as if her brain had just ceased functioning.

"S-Say something!" Pauline finally exploded.

"Ah, uh… I…"

At long last, Maria seemed to come back to herself, and winced while scratching her head. She opened her mouth, then closed it, and only a few seconds had probably passed by but those were actually the most excruciating seconds of Pauline's entire _life_—

—until she sneezed.

The girls looked at each other in an awkward silence, and then, eventually, Maria spoke again:

"We should… probably go home before we got sick."

* * *

"Thirty-seven nine for Maria, and thirty-eight for Pauline," Filippa declared, putting the thermometer on the nightstand.

The first one groaned, and the second sighed. Both of them were in Pauline's room, muffled under the bed's blanket with wet washcloths on their foreheads. It seemed it was a lot harder to discreetly came back home when you have an unstoppable cough, and they ended up getting caught before even reaching the stairs. Filippa had been generous enough to let them take a shower and sleep before any scolding, and when this morning they'd wake up with a high fever, she had also been relatively calm and understanding about their escapade.

"Honestly, what went through your heads? Going outside this late, all alone, without telling anyone. This is so dangerous! You're lucky to only get out of this with a fever!"

"I'm sorry," Pauline murmured, dipping her head under the duvet as if she hoped to disappear under it. "I didn't want to…"

"You better not put the whole blame on me," Maria suddenly added. "I didn't have to insist that much for you to come with me."

"Yes you did!"

Filippa sighed, then rose up from the bed. "Well, in any case you'll have to stay in bed for at least quite a few days. I'll see if Orlando can go to the pharmacy to buy some medicine…"

"So… there will be no punishment?" Pauline asked warily.

"I think spending your fifteenth birthday bedridden with a fever will be punishment enough."

Her mother's voice betrayed some irritation, but Pauline felt she had been more worried than angry about the whole ordeal. She then exited the room without saying anything more, closing the door behind her.

"You know your mom is still super cool," Maria commented. "Mine would have never let me live if she'd have caught me completely soaked in the middle of the night in her living room."

"You called her a 'tyrant' yesterday…"

"I was exaggerating. Trust me, compared to my parents, she's an angel."

Pauline had actually no troubles at all trusting her. She was well-aware Maria's parents tended to be really strict, especially her mother. She witnessed it multiple times before, and it always made her feel grateful for the parents she had.

"It still doesn't seem to prevent you from continuing to do bad things though…"

"What can I say? That's just how I was born."

A faint silence followed, until Maria broke it, in an unusual awkward voice:

"So, er… are we going to talk about it or not?"

"Talk about…?"

Maria groaned. "C'mon! You _kissed_ me yesterday! On the _mouth_! Remember? I think that's something that deserve a _bit_ of a talk, right?"

Oh, right. The kiss. Pauline had, indeed, done that. For some reason. Yesterday felt like such an odd night honestly, and with her fever, everything seemed so far away and in a blurry that she had almost wished it was something she'd hallucinated. She and Maria hadn't exchanged a word on the way back home, then they went to bed, and they'd been with her mother all morning. But Maria was right; obviously, this _had_ happened, and they couldn't just… ignore it.

"Well… I…" Pauline started, doing her best to not look at her friend in the eyes. "I don't know."

"You… don't know."

"I-I'm aware how silly it sounds. But it's just… yesterday, things were weird, you know? We were in the sea, it was dark, and the water was so shiny, and, and… I don't know! I thought you looked pretty so kissing you didn't felt… out of place at the time… maybe…"

Pauline could hear Maria's breath right next to her, but she couldn't guess what kind of expression she had. She wasn't courageous enough to look at her.

"So you just… felt like kissing me," she finally said.

"Yes…"

"Because… what? I looked pretty?"

"Yes…"

Maria stared at her. She was clearly expecting… something else. But Pauline honestly couldn't give her a comprehensive explanation. She herself didn't truly know what had crossed her mind at that moment.

"So it wasn't anything more."

"More…?"

"You don't have… any _feelings_ for me."

Pauline gasped. "Oh no! No, no, no! Of course not."

Maria let out a huge, big sigh. "Right. It was just a weird impulse on the moment. You're… just my friend. You like me, but, like, _platonically_."

"Yes, yes, that's it."

"Yeah, of course that's all. That'd be silly otherwise, huh?"

"R-Right…"

Then both of them looked away, an awkward silence still hanging in the room. Yes, Pauline was sure it was nothing. She wasn't _in love_ with Maria or anything. She was just her friend. So, really, there was no need to feel as awkward as she was feeling right now, right? She looked over at her _friend_ (and nothing more!), who seemed to be lost in her own thoughts.

Surely Maria didn't have… any feelings for her either, right? She always spent her time making fun of Pauline or telling her what a crybaby and an idiot she was… Sure, she knew Maria still liked her, otherwise she wouldn't keep seeing her, but she wasn't, like, _romantically_ interested in her… She didn't think…

Pauline felt like her brain was burning and about to blow up, and she didn't know if it was because of the fever or because her thoughts were continuing to going back in circle in her head. So she decided she needed to stop thinking altogether, to speak.

"It was… my first kiss."

Maria blinked, and stared at Pauline weirdly. "What?"

"You know. Yesterday. It was my first kiss." She paused, before continuing: "I'd always thought my first kiss would be with my boyfriend, during an incredibly romantic date…"

"Oh. Uh. Sorry?"

"It's not your fault. I mean, _I'm_ the one who kissed you, after all."

For some reason she still couldn't fathom. Though thinking about kisses and Maria suddenly made an odd question birth in her mind.

"Say… Was it…"

"What?"

"Was… That wasn't your first kiss?"

Maria snorted. "Of course it wasn't."

Pauline was kind of expecting that answer — Maria _was_ older than her, and she knew she'd always been pretty popular. She never mentioned having dated anyone before, but Pauline still felt a bit disappointed that unlike her, it wasn't her first kiss. Maybe it was childish of her. Now that she thought about it, she remembered that time two years ago when Filippa had asked her if she had a boyfriend, and Maria had just laughed awkwardly while dismissing the question… She thought she should let the matter at that, that it could be a potentially slippery topic, but the next question escaped her mouth before she even thought about it:

"Did the people you kiss before were boys or girls?"

"Is that any of your business?"

Her tone wasn't especially disgruntled, it was just her usual snappiness, but Pauline still winced at it. And Maria noticed that, because she then sighed and added: "Both, actually."

"Oh…"

Maybe that was why, then, that she never brought up the subject with her. Maria had never been the kind of person to be bothered by what others thought of her or to be judged, though, but… then again, what did Pauline knew about Maria, truly? They never seemed to discuss about important things together, or to really confide in each others.

But… maybe it was Pauline's fault, too, a little bit. Maybe she should just ask Maria more about herself. She would never be able to know more if she never asked. Maybe she should take the first step and try to confide herself more to her, too.

"Though… you know, to be honest, I…"

Pauline hesitated a little, thinking maybe she shouldn't say the rest for fear to be misinterpreted, but Maria's green eyes seemed to push her to keep on.

"I actually don't really regret it that you were my first kiss. I think it's… actually rather nice for it to be with you. Plus it was also… kinda romantic, I guess."

Maria stared at her, then finally she smirked, and let out a small chuckle.

"Sometimes you're really so fucking weird, you know that?" She commented, and Pauline wasn't sure what she meant by that, but there was an odd fondness and warmth in her voice, so it couldn't be something mean.

Then she gently bumped the top of Pauline's forehead, and she thought that, definitely, even with them ending up bedridden and with a fever, she didn't regret at all any of the things they had done yesterday, or since the beginning of the month, for that matter. Maria always ended up causing her problems or dragging her into troubles she would have never gotten into without her, but maybe sometimes, just sometimes, it was worth it.

She thought it was worth it just to see the Maria who'd promise her to protect her against an imaginary beast from her nightmares while holding her hand, or to eat common ham sandwiches together, or to see a tender, genuine smile on her face during the night in the middle of an ocean of glitters.

And seeing a smiling, glittering Maria was worth all the fevers and punishments, and she would exchange it for nothing in the world.


End file.
